i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You pole danced in your parka.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
