how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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