Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
