We're facebook friends in real life
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
