My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
