some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
