Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
