If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The air was thick with penises
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
