whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
whose parrot is this?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
