I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
