I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
