even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
