I hate all girls vehemently.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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