All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
As shirtless as possible
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
