Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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