It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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