You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
