"it" just moved
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I woke up under a house in Key West
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
