found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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