your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
do nipples grow back?
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