Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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