i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
