just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
