Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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