We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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