Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
operation harelip BJ is a go
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
