yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
he's single and there are thong briefs.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize