hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
