some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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