It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
