Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize