I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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