I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
