2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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