if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
