I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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