i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
