Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
