Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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