I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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