i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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