Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
