what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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