I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize