when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize