This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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