Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
