Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Your penis caused this!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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