Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
