I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize