so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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