fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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