i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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