Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
