Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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