bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
