i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
