Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I need a beard to bite.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
