saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
