and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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