he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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