your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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