Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
