the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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