her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
