p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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