Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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