Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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