Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so explain again why im purple
no
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
