Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
