Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
