so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
