My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
