NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
