dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
