so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
